Eat very quickly, the constant fast motion will  burn more calories!

If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
 
Remember - STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards.

If you eat standing up, it doesn't count!  Same goes for standing on your head....

Movie-related foods don’t count - they are part of the entertainment experience and not part of one's personal fuel.

 If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count as having calories!

Broken Cookies contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage! (I want to know who came up with that one!)

Food used for medicinal purposes such as chocolate, brandy, cheesecake and ice cream have no calories.

When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.

If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out!

Whenever possible, stand next to a person fatter than you.  (Never hurts to try to look better than the next guy!)

Always eat in private, if people never see you eat, they'll believe you when you say you have a thyroid problem.

Move in with someone who is naturally skinny and eat exactly what they eat at exactly the same times.  You are guaranteed to lose weight!

Study and memorize your most flattering pose in a mirror and ensure when anyone sees you, you strike the pose.....
**Note, this only works if you then don't move again until they've left the room!

Cross your legs at your ankles. Your thighs and calves will look slimmer.

Get a tan.  A tan helps you look thinner. (But don't forget the sunscreen - or you'll look like a prune!)

Whenever a friend calls you on the phone, tell them you can’t talk now, you are on your way to the gym.  Word will get round about how fit and healthy you are.... and you may feel it necessary to prove it once in a while.

Laugh at least 100 times  a day equals  =  10 minutes of exercise!