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When we are babies, our
emotional responses are somewhat limited. If we become
unhappy for any reason we express this unhappiness by
crying. Our bewildered parent checks us to make sure that
our diaper doesn't need changing, and that a safety pin is
not sticking us, or that some other physical unpleasantness
is not causing our wailing. Finding no obvious cause, what
almost always comes next (?) we are offered food!
Perhaps we were unhappy
because we were bored. We woke up in our crib and, little
egocentric beings that we are, we are displeased that no one
was there to tend to us. Mom picked us up and stuck
something in our mouth. We learned to pair the association
between food and mother's love, both of which were pretty
darn good.
Later on, when we came home
from school, disappointed because of something that had
happened academically or socially someone was there to offer
us soothing words of comfort and divert our
attention....by.....you guessed it....giving us some cookies
and cold milk. Maybe we had a parent who believed everyone
had to be a member of the clean plate club and we were
punished, either physically or verbally, for not eating all
of our supper...even if we were already full. This really
put us in a catch 22. On one hand, food was being
associated with pleasure, while on the other hand overeating
was associated with avoiding pain. We were actually being
rewarded for over eating! In addition, sometimes we were
being taught, even unintentionally, that we were not the
best judge of our hunger. We were full, yet some times our
parents told us, we weren't finished until the plate was
empty. So we learned not to trust our bodies. After all
here were our loving parents, the very people we trusted to
care and love us, telling us we weren't finished yet. So we
ate! And we learned to over eat. And later that habit
worked against us very badly.
That's not the end of it
either. No indeed! Holiday celebrations were always
centered around food...weren't they!? Of course!
Thanksgiving dinner, the Fourth of July picnic, or the
chocolate bunny and eggs at Easter. As we grew into our
teenage and adult years we gathered with our friends at the
drive-in restaurant, or we took our dates to the fanciest
restaurants we could afford. We had food associated with
wedding and baby showers, and would stop by the local
pizzeria after the basketball game. When we got married, we
had a rehearsal dinner, and reception featuring a ceremonial
cake and other foods. When our parents or grandparents
retired they were honored at a company dinner. Many people
even bring food to funerals and wakes.
Food is an integral part of
our existence and has taken on many symbolic roles for us.
Add to this the many messages from our parents and peers
about eating and it's obvious that our eating behavior is a
very complicated and complex issue.
Exercise:
Think about why you feel the
way you do about food, and what things you can do in your
own life and daily habits to change those beliefs. Remember
to use some of the tools you have learned in previous weeks
to help change your habits, such as affirmation, changing
the way they store food, making new list for the grocery
store, etc.
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